Hurt feelings

We’ve all had them at times; bumps in the emotions road that hurt. Most often they come from an offhand comment or an unthinking remark never meant to sting. But sometimes it can be hard to get them out of your system, to stop reacting. I think that may be especially true of people who’ve been through a transplant or any traumatic experience for that matter. You can get fairly tightly strung.

I have to admit to a couple of bumps myself. One I’m still reacting to everyday, the other I’m afraid I can’t do much about.

Every morning when I get dressed I check twice to make sure my belt is through every loop in my pants. That’s my way of dealing with something my daughter explained to me years ago when I missed a loop. “Dad, you look like an old man.” I’m not sure it assures me of eternal youth, but it dampens the hurt.

However, every time I think about something my wife said years ago – which is not very often -- I can only close my eyes and wince. We’d just come back from a lunch with a fraternity brother of mine who was obviously declining, losing a long battle with cancer and the bottle. Leaning against the kitchen counter, fooling with the wooden spoons in our Harriet’s Kitchen crock, I worried something under my breath about how thin Jerry looked.

From behind me, with a slight chuckle, obviously meaning to relieve my concern, Harriet said, “Well, you don’t have a butt anymore.”

My advice, once again, comes from Bernie who lives in the moment. And a thought for the day I sent to some other folks: Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called The Present.